Thoughts.....and stuff

We are not DEAD! PLUS.....The car is still pseudo alive!

Really its not that bad!

We update this so very often and it seems to be with non-stop technical jargon. I decided in the midst of looming deadlines, cracking whips, and a pounding drum to crack out this little bit for all of you.

As stated, I think, we pseudo ran the event WAY back in October. Lots of blood, parts trying to leave the car inadvertently, and general yelling. Not near enough Vodka.....Yes, we need to include this spirit much more in the next race. Plus when put in a bottle of water or glass, people are none the wiser! I love scotch, but you cannot fit in without the breathe giving you away. Try this tomorrow at work. It is Friday right? You deserve a party!

Wait....where was I? Oh yeah......The artists rendition of the Lemons race. He was never there and when someone told him it was a car race he muttered something unintelligible about sticks, donkeys, his toilet paper, and a new box. So maybe this has nothing to do with the race at all?

Since the last event many things have happened. Most of it we cannot remember, but we have done some things. First and foremost, we looked at the engine. We decided that it is crap! No really. All told, we think we made a total amount of horsepower of UNDER 30. Notice I did not say Max, but rather total. Somehow, this works, but I refuse or can't explain it. We are locating a riding mower now for a engine swap! Hopefully with a Kohler

New power of the car! Plus possibly mid-engine?????

We also have plans to change the theme slightly. We made the car run, and it performed slowly for some 16 laps, so we were unimpressed. Now, we need speed. With the new found engine option, and the fore site of a Greek god we thought long and hard. We came up with realization that though mystical, mythical, and possibly wise Unicorns had to be fat and lazy. Those stupid fat lazy unicorns caused the problems.

Since the BS theme stuff wasn't helping our cause, we thought we would revert back to the awesomeness of the original car we have. Make it a correct Mustang Cobra II. Then we thought, why stop there!?!? We will combine the awesomeness and never ending wonder of a late 70's supercar, with the wonderment of another icon. The Escort Cosworth. PLUS! a Dash of Mustang SVO. Only the most awesome mustang ever built utilizing parts sitting around from a Lincoln that you can purchase direct from the dealer.

Want to see the car now? Well you can't! Why? Cause I'm tired! We should get something up soon, maybe. If you want to see it, you should tell us. Then maybe we will put up something.

Beauty. Style. Passion. Everyone has their own way of describing it, drawing it, expressing it to the world, shouting it from the rooftops and filling art galleries and cinemas with it. Some do it by drawing Sistine chapel ceilings. Some do it by making films with Megan Fox in them. We did it with a $10 bucket of Lavendar house paint, a generous helping of hand-blown glitter, and paint sticks. Take that, Michael Bay and Michelangelo!

(yes, the paint came out great. It ran for a little bit, made some laps. It will be back, better, faster, and stronger, I promise).

Life's challenges

There comes a time in life where you realize, you're doing a 24hr endurance race in a $500 car, in less than 100 hours. You begin to take stock of your entire life's accomplishments, and begin to think where the hell did I go wrong? At what point did I become the dude that walks into Autozone and proudly announces "yep, a '77 Cobra II, with a '89 4-cylinder" everytime the counter guy asks what car you drive? At what point did I become the guy that happily pulled a torn up Ford Explorer SporTrac front bumper off the side of the road and actually used it for parts? At what point did I become the weirdo that walked into Hobby Lobby asking the cute girl what kind of glitter mixes well with lavender house paint?

While I may never know the answer to these questions, I do know that I have lived a ridiculously good life, and trust the guys at the SFI Foundation to know what the hell they're doing, or at least well enough to keep me alive long enough to make the next blog update.

Stay tuned folks, this will be a good one...

Passion of The Christ, shag carpeting, and unicorns

After hauling in our late Brezhnev-era chariot, we peered inside, and miraculously started putting off work on this thing for weeks on end. We did, however, keep our spirits up by taking the opportunity to conjure up theme ideas for our prized entry.

We initially defaulted to a "B-movie knockoff" Mad Max Police Interceptor theme, since it loosely resembeled it, we could beat up some bums, steal their 55gal fire barrels to make the faux gas tanks, and save a fortune by painting it all with the same flat-black paint we'll use on our one-off super awesome grille. That same one-off super awesome grille our multi-year meat-judging team leader will use to cook up Texas' finest BBQ for the extremely hard working, courteous, and talented LeMon's judging team. However, we felt that due to Mel Gibson's involvement, this theme drew too many parallels with the Passion of The Christ, not to mention that none of us felt like wearing leather chaps and chains.

Some time had passed and I thought to myself "the Dumb & Dumber grooming van could work!" This theme suffered a quick death when we realized that A. finding 5000 sq. ft. of shag carpeting would be tough, B. even if we found that much shag carpeting, it would pose a serious fire hazard, and C. given this car's penchant for all things unprotected, all it would take is one prick from a needle buried deep within this shag carpeting of dubious origin, and it's game over.

This left us in quite the bind. We couldn't think of a theme because really, who the hell drives Mustangs IIs anymore? In my numerous automotive journies, I've yet to see one running and driving, and began to think that the idea of running and driving Mustang IIs were like mythical creatures that once roamed the earth. Yes, you read the title when finding your way to this blog: we're going with UNICORNS!

More to come...

The good old days

Back in the good old days, sex was safe and racing could kill you. In this modern age of dual-stage airbags, excessive litigation, and "point-to-pass" driving events, we all secretly yearn for that forbidden element of fear and danger behind the wheel. After a night of heavy drinking, a group of racing geeks took it apon themselves to throwback to these golden days and do something about it. While we couldn't do much about the sex part, we did have the option of entering The 24 Hours of LeMons.

It was important for us to enter a car that best captured that era of American history, the era where we reached the peak of stupidity in automotive engineering and were on the cusp of realizing that condoms were actually not a bad idea. With this in mind, and after much deliberation (along with a massive hangover), we decided on the Mustang II. This Pinto-derived beauty is the pinnacle of '70s automotive engineering and refinement, and helped lay the groundwork for the AIDs epidemic of the early '80s.

Over the coming months, we'll chronicle our run-ins with tetanus, heinous acts of automotive disfigurement, and games of rock/paper/scissors to see who has to drive this deathtrap first.

More to come...